Because on World Mental Health Day, we didn't want to publish a list of tips or a graphic with a helpline number. We wanted to say the things that actually needed saying. The things that are true at 3am when the baby won't sleep and you haven't changed your underwear in two days and you have absolutely no idea who you are anymore.

You will be rock bottom. And it's normal.

The first two weeks, I cried every single day. Happiness, sadness, anxiety - everything all mixed together like the worst cocktail you've ever tasted. And then for the months that followed, it came in waves. Sadness. Rage. Resentment. A low that rolled in like a fog, especially during those long pumping sessions at 2am when the world was quiet and your thoughts were anything but.

Postpartum hormones are the gift that keep on giving. Nobody tells you that. They hand you the baby and send you home and nobody quite explains that your mental health is about to go on the most extreme rollercoaster of your life and that the ride can last months.

So we're telling you now. It's a rollercoaster. And it's normal. Not easy. Not fine. But normal.

There will be a moment where you know.

For me it was bedtime. Three hours of an upset baby and an even more upset mama. I came downstairs, looked at my husband, and said very calmly: "I'm going to have a nervous breakdown." Then the doorbell rang. The dogs went off. The baby went off. And that was that - the gates could not be closed.

Postpartum is a strange groundhog day. The days are long but the nights are longer, and when bedtime rolls around for the hundredth time and it's dark outside and you're in two-day-old underwear, something in you just gives way.

That moment whatever yours looks like is not weakness. It's your mind telling you it needs something. Listen to it.

Ask for help. Not for solutions. Just to be heard.

I reached out to a midwife. I didn't need her to fix anything. I just needed someone to listen, someone who genuinely knew what this felt like and say: I understand. Once I got it all out, screamed into a pillow, and put on clean underwear, it was like a weight had actually lifted.

That's all it sometimes takes. Not a diagnosis. Not a plan. Just someone else holding the weight of it with you for a moment.

If you're reading this and something in it sounds familiar, talk to someone. You feel like you're going crazy inside. You're not crazy. You're going through too much. Let someone else feel the weight of what you're feeling. Scream into your pillow if you need to. Then make the call.

This goes for dads too.

We talk about maternal mental health. We rarely talk about paternal mental health. But new dads are in it too, watching someone they love go through something enormous, running on no sleep, quietly holding everything together while nobody thinks to ask how they are.

Up to one in ten new fathers experience postnatal depression. Many more experience anxiety, overwhelm, and a loss of identity they have no language for. The conversation exists for mums now, just about. For dads, it barely exists at all.

If you're a dad reading this: you're allowed to not be okay. You're allowed to say so.

What to look out for - in yourself and each other.

Postnatal mental health doesn't always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like rage. Sometimes numbness. Sometimes intrusive thoughts that terrify you. Sometimes it just looks like exhaustion so deep you can't see a way through it.

Signs worth taking seriously, in yourself or your partner:

• Feeling persistently low, empty, or hopeless beyond the first two weeks
• Anxiety that won't switch off - constant worry, racing thoughts, physical symptoms
• Anger or irritability that feels out of proportion and hard to control
• Feeling detached from your baby, your partner, or yourself
• Intrusive or frightening thoughts
• Not sleeping even when you have the chance
• Feeling like the person you were before the baby is gone

If any of these have been present for more than two weeks, please speak to your GP or midwife. You don't need to have hit rock bottom to deserve support.

Where to get help in the UK.

PANDAS Foundation - Pre and postnatal depression support for parents and families. Free helpline: 0808 1961 776. pandasfoundation.org.uk

Tommy's - Mental health support specifically for pregnancy and the postnatal period. tommys.org

Make Birth Better - Dedicated support for birth trauma. makebirthbetter.org

MIND - General mental health support and local services. mind.org.uk

Dads Matter UK - Mental health support specifically for new and expectant dads. dadsmatteruk.org

Your GP or midwife - Always the first call. "I'm not feeling like myself" is enough of a reason.

One last thing.

The baby is going to be okay. The baby is, by all accounts, thriving.

But how are you?

That question  the slightly overdue, slightly uncomfortable one that nobody thinks to ask is what we're here for. Not just on World Mental Health Day. Every day.

You're not going crazy. You're going through a lot. There's a difference. And you don't have to go through it alone.

If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your GP, call NHS 111, or go to your nearest A&E. In an emergency, call 999.